The Victorian period is also regarded as the era of Romanticism. In those days, courtship was considered to be a tradition and...
Being Picky About Age . . . (Perfect Age?)
The engaged couple was allowed to meet behind closed doors but had to be dutifully separated by nightfall. She never approached people of higher rank, unless being introduced by a mutual friend. She used her mother's visiting cards, or that of another female relative if her mother was dead. Even though Brown is clearly in favour of marital unions, he does concede that it's not always for everyone:. It was also illegal to marry a deceased wife's sister.
What course was left for the young man who had strayed?
The Reason For “The Season”
The rules and suggestions in favour of courtship and romance ensconce most of the lacuna in Victorian etiquette and letter writing books. There are usually flowery forms for written proposals from the suitor as fountain-head as a plethora of gushing acceptances from the bride-elect. Near the the final blow of the section there is generally one laconic letter of refusal to a marriage proposal.
Inveterately the tone of the letter is vague and contains assurances that the honored lady thanks the gentleman for his feeler but she cannot agree to his proposal. The Victorian precept that a lady "never explains or complains" is followed rigidly. To readers today the first finger titles for these letters sound wildly humorous. Have regard for the titles "Refusal on the grounds of dislike", "Refusal on the grounds of unsteadiness of the suitor", and "Refusal on the grounds that the suitor is much younger than herself".
Upon finicky thought, however, these letters can be seen to be sober testimony to the general tenor of society in the third quarter of nineteenth century America. The short paragraph headed "Refusal on the grounds of dislike" is important information to a historian today for what it reveals about the life of men in That such a letter was not nonsensical to include in a serious work is voiceless testimony to the digit of young men who "failed" in the creation.
The contents of the letter are brief:. The man who assisted in effecting a brother's bring to ruin, is not a correct partner for his sister; and a moment's echo might have convinced you that your agency in the matter to which I allude, has earned for you, not the love, but the unchangeable dislike of Further bear witness that young men of America were going "astray" is found in the letter entitled "Refusal on the grounds of unsteadiness of the suitor": Your conduct during the concluding two years has vintage made known to me, and, viewing you in the light of a dangerous man, I do not desire anymore snug acquaintance.
5 Ridiculous Victorian Etiquette Rules
After marriage, the woman played the role of a dutiful wife and mother. Thus, some or the other kind of supervision was ensured when the couples were meeting. This was a precaution, lest the engagement be ended by either party. When a young girl was on good terms with these social select, she could expect help in making an advantageous match. Once a young woman was done with her schooling, she would be presented to society to show she was in the market for a husband.
C ourtship was considered more a career move than a impassioned interlude for young men, as all of a woman's possessions reverted to him upon connection. Therefore courting was taken utter seriously--by both sides. Men and women were careful not to lead the other on unnecessarily.
From the time she was young, a woman was groomed for this role in life--dutiful wife and mother. Properly trained, she learned to sing, gambol piano or guitar, dance and be conversant about light belles-lettres of the day.
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